In spite of my many lefty rants during the course of the election, I’m really not a commie pinko fag, as they used to call us.  There are some conservative values – a few – which I think are right on track, and I do think we need a strong conservative party to balance the liberals.  But these people really do have to get in the game and play in the real world.  Or maybe everyone on both sides of the aisle has to turn on the creationists en masse.  If neither party speaks to their biblical cause, they’ll either have to vote based on real-life issues or not vote at all.  

Case in point:  Marco Rubio.  He’s kind of a cute kid, but I’ve never thought he was as dazzling as the GOP establishment does.  VP?  Are you kidding me?  Then I read this excerpt from his GQ interview this morning:

GQ: How old do you think the Earth is?

Marco Rubio: I’m not a scientist, man. I can tell you what recorded history says, I can tell you what the Bible says, but I think that’s a dispute amongst theologians and I think it has nothing to do with the gross domestic product or economic growth of the United States. I think the age of the universe has zero to do with how our economy is going to grow. I’m not a scientist. I don’t think I’m qualified to answer a question like that. At the end of the day, I think there are multiple theories out there on how the universe was created and I think this is a country where people should have the opportunity to teach them all. I think parents should be able to teach their kids what their faith says, what science says. Whether the Earth was created in 7 days, or 7 actual eras, I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to answer that. It’s one of the great mysteries.

All right, I never would have asked him a question like that.  It’s obvious what the interviewer is trying to get at.  The surprising thing is, he got it.  Honestly, I haven’t heard this kind of obfuscation since Barbara Walters asked Ricky Martin if he’s gay.  An eight-word question was answered with a whole paragraph of “Blah, blah, blah.  I’m covering all my bases.”

Notice the question wasn’t “How old is the Earth?”  It was “How old do you think the Earth is?”  So if he’s a “person of faith” the answer is 6,000 years.  If he’s a “scientist, man,” the answer is 4.54 billion years.  Either way, three words or fewer.

This exchange alone disqualifies him from my vote.   I don’t believe that he believes the age of the Earth is “one of the great mysteries.”  I’m certain he goes with either the biblical or the scientific answer, just as Ricky’s blah-blah to Barbara made it clear to me he was a big homo.

When I vote for a candidate, I want to feel like I generally know what he stands for.  They’re often not as direct as I’d like them to be; that’s a trait of all politicians.  But Rubio strikes me as a Prince of Blah-Blah (He’ll have to get a little older to rate King of Blah-Blah.)  and that’s not what I’m looking for.  Tell me the answer is 6,000 years and let me be amazed and ticked off or say it’s 4.54 billion years and let the fundamentalists have massive aneurysms.  That I can respect.  “I’m not a scientist, man,” is a dodge that insults all of us.