Jack Burkman, a K Street lobbyist who has some very serious sexual issues is drafting legislation to prevent gays from entering the NFL.

Hmm.  Now why would he do that?  I mean 86% of the players say they don’t have a problem with it, but Mr. Burkman needs a law – and quickly.

Looks like someone got really really scared when Michael Sam came out and even though he won’t ever be in an NFL lockerroom, he’s decided he must save all of those delicate 300 lb players from – well – he doesn’t know what.  He just knows it’s bad. 

He told TheHIll.com yesterday “We are losing our decency as a nation. Imagine your son being forced to shower with a gay man. That’s a horrifying prospect for every mom in the country. What in the world has this nation come to?”

Indeed, what has this nation come to when mothers are horrified – horrified, I tell you – that some awful gay man might check out her son’s junk for a nanosecond in the lockerroom and then go on about his business.  My God, forget worrying about drunk drivers or nuts wielding handguns or terrorists flying jets into office towers.  This is the real threat to all we hold dear.  The casual shower glance.  This is what we must save our precious grown-up boys from!

Well that makes sense.  I totally understand why someone would want the government to step in to rescue society by dictating the morals of the whole country – especially a Republican who says he believes that that same government should get out of our lives and do as little as possible.

OK, I’ll admit it.  This guys makes no sense to me at all.

I’ve yet to see a Republican in the media – Congress member or otherwise –  who doesn’t change his tune on government completely when it comes to social issues.  Suddenly big is small, black is white, down is up.  They want the feds out of their wallets, but they’re happy to have it invade your relationship, your bedroom, your vagina, and any other orifice it can find on you..  Oddly, they don’t think that’s invasive at all.

According to Burkman, “In this country there is no oppression of anyone.”  (I know, laughed, too.)  However, he adamantly believes Congress has a responsibility and a right to promulgate morals. “They do and they should,” he said on Fox.

Of course he is white and heterosexual and privileged, so I guess he would think that.

Maybe he should just leave the showering to the big boys who can handle it and keep his archaic, illogical “morals” to himself.  In fact, I would encourage him to do so.