The other night my friend Joe got into a very interesting conversation with a gay Republican.  (Wow, I still can’t believe that my computer doesn’t explode when I type those words together.)  Anyway, it would have been interesting if it hadn’t been on Grinder, the gay meet up app that brings hot young men together with other hot young men or with wealthy older men – whether hot or not – for sex or dates, but almost never for lengthy keyboard discussions of the pros and cons of conservative political theory.  In the hookup world this was just bizarre.  Why work out like crazy, post shirtless pics of yourself to bust your thumbs debating Mitt Romney’s bona fides as a presidential candidate?  

Joe, a master Grindr-er thought the whole thing was hilarious, but I’m sure he would have dropped the conversation in a heartbeat if the Republican hadn’t been a young hottie.  When you’re in your 20’s political differences might preclude a relationship, but sex is another thing entirely.  Only ugly and crazy stand in the way of sex.  And sometimes even crazy isn’t a deal-breaker.  Often, in fact.

Even though Grindr, like many other sites, enjoys the pretext of a higher calling, it’s largely a hookup aid.  People who want to date do not need to know how many hot, horny guys are within a two-block radius at any given time and they don’t use that kind of proximity as part of the selection process.  After all, you could be having dinner with friends in SOMA and Mr. Right could be sitting in his apartment all the way out of the immediate vicinity in North Beach.  A dater wouldn’t want to miss that.

Since Grindr is about sex – yeah, yeah and dates, whatever – why would anyone let politics come into that conversation?  Texting, no less!  Personally, I don’t like to decide where to meet a friend for drinks via text.  Texting is great for “I’m running ten minutes late.”  It’s not for an extended discussion of the constitutionality of Obamacare, much less the psychology of a gay man who would ally himself with a party that has no use for him beyond his vote as a means to propel them into office so they can ignore his needs and rights.

I’ve written about the mysteries of gay Republicans before.  I don’t get it.   Whatever you may think of conservative economic theories – and even I think some of them hold a little water – the Republican Party is dominated by a fundamentalist base that will require politicians on the right to continue very publicly stabbing gays in the neck at every opportunity if they want to keep their offices.  The same holds true for women, minorities and the poor.  Unfortunately, that won’t change until they can broaden their appeal and they can’t do that until they stop pandering to the zealots.  A classic catch-22.

So back to our horny gay Republican.  If wants to get laid, why doesn’t he shut up about politics – at least until the actual meeting?  He’s cute.  I’ve seen the pictures.  He’ll have no trouble scoring.  But if he wants to make a love match with some other delusional boy, I don’t think Grindr is his best venue, particularly since he told us (Yes, Joe shared the messages.  Don’t judge.) that he doesn’t think gay men want to date and he doesn’t seem to have any use for them beyond the physical.

I won’t shed too many tears for Mr. GOP.  His politics and his surly condescending attitude may have nixed his chances with Joe, but he’ll do all right.  Crazy is not a deal breaker.