I love my SNOOZE button.  I can tell this because I hit it twelve times this morning.  Yes, twelve times.  One hour and 48 minutes.  Don’t judge.  

To some this might seem excessive.  Well, to be honest the logical part of me thinks it’s excessive.  And yet I do it.  Not always twelve times.  Sometimes just three or four.  In any case, I almost never wake with the first bell.  It’s not possible.

Some people are morning people.  I am not one.  I had a roommate in college who was a morning person.  He would squelch his alarm in mid-ring and pop up in bed with bright eyes and big smile, ready to face the day with a cheery “Good morning!”

I hated him.  Not all the time.  Just in the morning.  I resented his perkiness to the point I may have threatened his life once or twice.  I’m not sure; I was only semi-conscious at the time.

For me it’s a long, sometimes arduous, journey from sleep to wakefulness.  In that college dorm room while my roommate was bouncing out of bed, I was beating the SNOOZE button with my fist and moving my increments to a sitting, then leaning, then standing position before lurching to the shower, hoping the 20 minutes I would spend under the hot water would help bring me to life.  Even today I can usually hit the SNOOZE three times before I’m awake enough to realize what I’m doing.

It’s not about staying up too late.  Well, not always.  Even when I have the chance for a full eight hours, I do not go easily into that new day.  When I do awake unassisted, my first thought is, “That was too easy.”  In fact, it usually means that:  a) I have forgotten to set the alarm, and b) I am late.  Consequently, I have become one of those people who set their alarm seven days a week.  Otherwise I’m sure I could sleep twelve or thirteen hours at a stretch with no problem.

But I don’t think it’s just my borderline narcolepsy that makes me such a SNOOZE button fan.  There’s also something magical about the nine minutes it gives me.  They’re sweeter than the hours that go before, because I’m at least marginally aware of them.  When I’m in REM sleep I have no idea what luxury I’m experiencing; when I’m in that blissful dozing state between SNOOZEs, I know I’m not getting up because I don’t have to because I set my alarm an hour early.  Most mornings it’s the best feeling ever.  It makes me smile even now.

So I will continue to hit my SNOOZE and hit my SNOOZE and hit my SNOOZE, enjoying the stroll to consciousness and the nine-minute rest stops along the way.

It’s probably good that I’m single.